Based in louisville, kentucky, "hi my name is amos", is a blog and youtube channel about mental health, body image, and managing life. 

Leap Frog

in three weeks, I begin this crazy adventure of moving to another country and working my dream job.  most of the time, I'm really excited about it. then there are the days that I just start crying at songs and have to pull over to stop sobbing.  I have learned that those feelings are completely normal and I'm allowed to be crazy.  a few weeks ago, I sat at a coffee shop in Nashville, with a friend of mine meeting with someone else for a video on human trafficking.  The woman we met with asked me how I got into this work, a question I get quite often.  The work honestly found me. Many people have said before that every step I've taken has led me to this spot and I never thought about it until I had to explain the last 11 years. And having to work through those last 11 years, I realize that God had the plan all along and put up the road blocks and opened the doors I needed to get to Cambodia.  

It all started in 2004, when I started working with invisible children, helping to organize events in Kentucky and Tennessee.  I was offered a job with them in 2008, however couldn't take it. Then I ended up then finding an organization called, Faceless International, and went to India with them in 2008. Then I went back to India in 2009 for 3 months on my own. Along the way, I finished graduate school, moved to Nashville, started working in the juvenile justice system. I volunteered with many area organizations working with women who have been exploited, I even applied for jobs with them.  To no avail.  Then I started my own thing, going into strip clubs and serving meals to the women there.  Then the club closed. The Thursday before I interviewed with Hope for Justice.  It's been a crazy hard road. 

A while back, I started praying that God would send me something, anything. I knew that I didn't belong in the juvenile justice system anymore. I knew I needed to go.  But every road I tried to go down, was ending in a brick wall. Then this opportunity came around. I knew after they emailed me to come in and talk to them that I was going to get this job. Not to sound cocky, or whatever....but I knew. And I knew that it was for me. I was made for that job.

Back in graduate school, my professor, MaryBeth, had my class draw out what we envisioned ourselves in 10 years. I drew a little humble building, with what I thought was India outside the window.  When I had to talk about it I said that I would be some place else, helping women and girls get out of the sex industry.  I have that drawing somewhere in my grad school stuff. 

Part of me thinks I've fooled my directors into thinking I have what it takes to do this job. The negative voices racing thru my head are on,y my insecurities. They aren't true. I know I am equipped to do whatever it takes. Despite how emotional I get, how much I cry and how much I'll miss everyone, I have what it takes and whatever I need will be within me. 

Looking for a dime, but found a quarter

What I Know Right Now