Most of my blogs begin with an apology about not writing as much. I thought about doing that here, but instead I’m going to say thank you for being patient and sticking around here. Life is crazy, my brain is full of incomplete thoughts and here we are today.
This afternoon I went shopping because I was going to a friend’s wedding tonight. Cut to me in tears on the bench in the dressing room, because nothing looked right. My body and I have fought for years over clothes, among other things. I know that there are a ton of plus size brands out there, but you can't find them in stores. Please put things in stores..I will buy things. I will give you my money. But please! Please! Don't make everything boxy, square muu-muus. I have a shape. It isn't round. I've worked really hard for what I got (except the booty..that's purely Jesus and genetics). Quit body shaming me, and forcing me to look like produce in a jersey knit sack.
I’ve been on a mountain climb of a journey, steeper recently, in body positivity. The movement itself has a lot noise that doesn’t settle well on my ears. Especially when it comes to losing weight. One of the leaders of the movement posted recently that you can’t label transformation photos as “body positivity”, because that meant that you hated the previous body. The body (especially female identified) is under such a pile of opinions of people, media, and industry that you just can’t win. Even in spaces that are supposed to be supportive. Being vulnerable about your body, especially in social media, is a double-edged sword. Post those transformation pics, people! You deserve to toot your own horn!
I think there is a common misconception of fat bodied people that thin bodied people have "right" bodies. When that's definitely not the case. I share my struggles with my body because I know that there are all different types of bodies that feel the same way. No one is given a get out of jail free card when it comes to body image. It's a volley between fat and thin bodied people to who gets to voice their concerns about it.
Body positivity should be for anyone with a body, at whatever state it’s in. If you want to lose weight, awesome. If you don’t, awesome. Whatever you want.
For me, I’ve been trying to enjoy and celebrate what my body does every day. Yes, I have big thighs..they carry me around, they’re really strong. I’m really strong. Body positivity doesn’t start at my heaviest or at my lightest. It’s at every step. I’ve been working with a nutrition coach over the last few months and it’s been a saving grace that I have needed. I don’t know how much I weigh, what my body fat percentage is, or anything like that. He does. We concentrate on how I’m feeling, what changes I can see, and what’s happening in all my workouts throughout the week. Because I’m not bogged down by numbers, my eyes are opened to that my body is changing; that I feel better when I’m eating better and when I leave a workout.
And none of this is to be told I’m beautiful, or whatever. It’s for you. For you to know that wherever you are, fat bodied, thin bodied, whatever body, that you matter as you are. We all struggle. I don't need any accolades for how far I've come. We all need to support each other in the miles we are trekking through life, whatever those journeys might look like.
So let’s be kind. When our friends are crying in dressing rooms, tell them that store sucks and they’re awesome.