this week has been very trying. i dread when monday comes around, because i hate my day job. and work isn't going very well. just a lot going on. the highlight of my week is this thursday when i go out to the clubs again. it feels as though my community has been rocked. people disappearing out of my life, miscommunication, high stress, and being tense. i feel stretched to make everyone happy and also do what i feel are the right steps. i feel my stomach in knots all day long. then this morning a friend of mine told me to check my email. we both are part of do-over challenge, so we get the same daily emails. this one hit home.
i have been heartbroken over the loss of a dear friend. they didn't die or anything, we're just not friends anymore. and after posting a photo from outside the club last week, i got a lot of flack from people. i believe most of it was from a place of concern, and some from a place of fear.
for the longest time, i have tried to get everyone in my corner. tailoring goals and dreams to make everyone happy. i wanted everyone to like what i was doing and cheer me on. it's gotten so tiring and frustrating. there's always going to be someone who isn't happy with what's going on or what i'm doing. someone is always going to have something to say. haters gonna hate, amiright taylor swift?
the people who are in my corner, really believe in me and my dreams. and i'm giving them 100%. i haven't believed in anything as much as i believe in rescyou (you can check it out at thisisrescyou.wordpress.com). jon said in our email this morning that i can only be 100% to the people who support me. 445 people like rescyou's facebook page. those people believe in what i do. my board believes in what i do, sometimes they get more excited than i do. i know it's dangerous, i know i'm taking big risks. nothing good has come from being safe anyway.
thursday jodie and i are going back to the clubs. we're making desserts to take with us. we plan to go talk to the doormen. we don't think we'll get inside. we've picked two clubs and they're the only ones we'll go to instead of driving around to all of them like last week. these two clubs gave up the heaviest feelings. i've looked forward to thursday since last thursday. and i think the pattern will repeat.