2017 has come, with much anticipation for what it's going to be. as crazy as 2016 was and how glad i was to see it leave, it was probably up there as one of the greatest years of my life. we all loved and lost as hard as we could, and to get this fresh new start comes as a relief.
i look at 2016 as a year of being pruned. it's painful and trying, but it's a process we all have to go through to get to the next best thing. last year, i found myself living a dream i had had for over a decade. it came with a new set of challenges and consequences. without it, who am i and where i am right now, wouldn't be.
this year has bought more than i could have expected. with another dream position, doing something that i love doing, in my hometown. i don't think i have ever been this happy. every day is met with new challenges and obstacles, new victories, new lessons. i'm honored to fight for people who experience sexual violence, educate my community about what they can do to change it, and working with an awesome team. i love working in a place that empowers women, giving us a space to be seen as experienced, knowledgeable, and capable people.
resolutions are not something i make, because i usually break them before february. i did decide that there were things i was going to take on this year and things i was going to leave behind.
1) i am not a people pleaser, but i find myself judging my happiness by the happiness of others. this behavior has caused some crippling anxiety about decision making, speaking up in conversations, and expressing myself authentically. i've decided that i'm letting go of that. my happiness is based on my satisfaction in my decisions and consequences, not the feelings of others.
2) when i got back from cambodia, most of my clothes didn't make it back. my body has changed from lifting more often and losing the weight from "hey you're home, let's eat here!" meals. i bought a new wardrobe, for my body, with clothes that i feel good in. nothing to cover up and hide, but stuff to make me feel good..now. i've hidden myself, because i have bought into this lie that i am not worthy at this stage, but once i get to some other "acceptable" place, then i can not hide behind clothing.
3) i'm going to stay in the moment more often, enjoying the space i am in. i often rush into what's next, and think far ahead..instead of what's right in front of me.
so cheers to your new year.