Social media can be wonderful. I have friends all over the world, my best friend lives over 500 miles away. Social media makes it so much easier to interact in all kinds of ways. It can also be dangerous. People now have so many more avenues to express their opinions, harm others, tear others down.
Not too long ago, a person I know from a gym posted an article of an interview with once famed personal trainer, Jillian Michaels. While I understand that this is Jillian’s attempt to become relevant again, it was more the reaction I saw from fellow gym people that bothered me the most.
For as long as I’ve been around, there has been a consistent wave of fake concern over the plight of people who are obese. I say fake because a lot of the “data” that they sight isn’t 100% true, it’s skewed to make their point. And also because, most of those people aren’t concerned in reality with obese people. Most people don’t really care that much about people.
*photo by the wonderful Slater.
I am a fat person. I know this, I’m very aware of my body and what it looks like. Equating fatness to healthiness is an issue I take to heart. People often assume a lot about my health status because of my body. I get regular blood panels, I work with a nutritionist, and we all seem to be on the same page about things. Quite honestly, they are the only ones that I want or need any input from when it comes to my healthiness.
I unfriended the person who posted the article. Mostly because I don’t really know her, but also because it’s one less person I have to pull out my medical chart for to show that I’m actually healthy, I’m just fat.
**Now I know that there are medical issues with being fat. I’m not stupid. Will my joints suffer? Maybe. Is that any of your concern? Absolutely not.**
I’ll leave you with these final thoughts though.
1) Unless you’re concerned with my mental, spiritual, and emotional health as well, I don’t need or want to listen to your thoughts/concerns/criticism about my physical health. Unless you’re my primary care physician, my physical therapist (knee injury), my nutritionist, or my therapist, I don’t need to hear your opinion/thoughts/criticism of my weight.
2) Many fat people become fat for a multitude of reasons. I did not spend my life making poor nutrition choices. I have an eating disorder. I’ve been very open about it here. I’m a year out of treatment. Luckily, that post didn’t cause a relapse. I am one of the fortunate ones that have an incredible support network and I realize that your thoughts based on my physical appearance do not have any weight (hahaha, puns) on my progress in my eating disorder journey. I’m more than willing to sit and discuss it with you, talk about what’s happened and how I’m working towards healing.
3) The body positivity movement isn’t about the ‘glamorization’ of obesity. It’s about destroying this myth that fat people aren’t allowed to be actual people. It’s about challenging the idea that we aren’t real valid human beings because we are fat. It’s about being respected and treated with dignity in all areas of life. It’s about feeling good about yourself despite all the adversity the world throws at you because they don’t like your body. Body positivity is about all different types of bodies, not just fat ones. The movement is problematic at times because of it’s exclusion of other bodies, not because it wants the world to think fat people are….well, people too.
4) Lastly, I don’t need your concern. It’s fake. You don’t really care. What this is, is a phobia. You’re scared that you’ll end up like me. This is a phobia perpetuated by diet culture. “New year, new me”, “shed those holiday pounds”, etc etc etc. You’re scared of being like me. If being fat is the only thing that you think I am, or if fat is the WORST thing you can become, then bye. I don’t need that in my life. I’m (and all other fatties) so much more than a fat person. I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty awesome. I’m way more than this fat body.
I still struggle with my thoughts around exercising, eating differently, and losing weight. Weight loss is a natural side effect of some lifestyle changes I have made. For me, it’s not about weight loss. It’s about becoming a better athlete. It’s about celebrating what my body is capable of. I’ve been told for a really long time that my fat body wouldn’t be able to do things. So when I’m at the gym, it’s not about a number goal or getting into a more acceptable figure. It’s about proving to myself that those voices, all those times I’ve been told that my fat body isn’t capable, that anything is possible.
My challenge to all those who favorited, commented, or even shared the article, that you sit down with a fat person and get to know them. Not share your medical opinion, not your “concern”, but really get to know what brings them to life.